Thursday, July 28, 2011

Undiscovered Wonder

So what if you find it aggressive
that's what I felt on that particular date
Life's not always nice
open palm, blooming lotus
it retains its wonder
you just don't always notice

A drunken step father
turns over the dinner table
right outside
a spider finishes
intricate webs

A diner waitress uses make up
to cover a shiner
a crested robin
tends to newly hatched eggs

Life has horror
Life has grace
undiscovered wonder
not shoved in your face

This chaos called life
has some sort of order
crossing mans made
pencil drawn borders
The sign says don't loiter
or was it out of order

Innocence is lost
at the hands of a friend
left undirected
lost at rivers bend

Mandelbrot knew 
what I'm just now
going through.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

False Bravado

I want to hate you
but your to damn close
pseudo intellectual
but a damn good host

To bad no one understood
your Swedish toast...
or how you could try and claim
both coast's.

Your bookshelf is overflowing
with ideas you claim to be knowing
its okay not to know
you don't have to show
that your anything more.

High school dropout
you'd think you had a p.h.d.
pseudo intellectual
your 3 chapters deep
your potent paragraph pile
has little to no style
your audience smiles
while your in denial

you are not smarter
than the next
and if you are
who gives a shit
I'm not saying quit
but you don't have to be a dick

The dust on the bindings
proof they've never been cracked
in the 80's it was drive
in the 90's all just slack
big deal you've tried crack
watch your mouth
no turning back

Pseudo intellectual
your bravery from drink
false bravado
is the model
for your whole life to stink

The mirror sees through me
but I give your soul a wink
5/27/11

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The right way to do

Give Dad the reigns
you don't think I steer better
I'm pushing retirement
you're trying high school letter
I have an eagle scout patch
you'd ask Grandma
to stitch your sweater

Let me push on you
what I think is cool
I'm older, not creepy
but bolder.

I'm so assured
our tastes have mistakes
but they also have matches
figuring out child proof latches

When, I 
like you
was young and dumb
still sucking my thumb

I have had enough
to know when I am done
you don't have enough
you wish you were that tough

I know enough 
to be comfortable enough
to say that I'm queer
I'm old enough 
to be young enough
to embrace all your fears

Who cares what they think
we're forced
different sinks
cant meet on the links
can agree on the kinks

You don't have to be scared
the stonewall sacrificed
for your fear
I admit that I'm queer

I'm different than you
I want to be different than you
I want to break out of the zoo
as if there's a clue, or someone to sue
a thing to fucking do

My life is all smeared
pasty, sweaty
defined queer

I'm different from you
what will you tell your kids to do
be yourself
or lie to God
will you tell them society thinks them odd

They are you
subvert all the trials you've been through
let Dad take the reigns
he thinks he knows the right way 
to prove!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Titles

My thoughts were never labeled
perfectly content
as long as no one sees
and not one has been sent

I never said my thoughts made sense
I just said I have a million of them
how would you have known
cause I yelled it through the phone

A title never seemed vital
untitled will never go viral
down the drain
clockwork spiral
win or lose
uncomfortable smile

It's done 
I won
because I have no control
ink to pulp
that's how I roll.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

ignorant him, wiser me

who was that
I barely made eye contact
like ships in the night
passing without glancing
sails sipping salty breeze

Who was that
with the single bravado
with the singular motto
waiting to hit
the impossible lotto

I cant seem to make out that man
the boy I used to be
years have seperated
ignorant him
from wiser me

Passing without glancing
sails sipping salty breeze.

K.I.S.S.

Keep it simple stupid
as if your thoughts
meant a lot

Your thoughts
are what you got
profound, deep
judge I am not

I do it because
they canned oxygen
I don't know about you
but I have to breath...

Wallets out
"how much do you need?"

Monday, July 18, 2011

Good Morning

Good morning stupid world
lets see what you got
I'm wearing a game face
before breakfast is even hot

Good morning wonderful world
show me your secrets
let me peek beneath
the dew sheets
where you sleep

Good morning ruckus life
day concurs night
continuous loop
daily, nightly
internal strife

Good morning my glorious conundrum world
what tidbits have you yet to unfurl
whether its a vortex swirl
or Elvis's pompadour curl

Whatever it is you choose to reveal
I am sitting here
listening here
ready to hear

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Happy Days

I have a big belly 
don't care if I'm smelly.
Is it still hump day 
if you can't get it up?

You can fancy yourself tough.
99 balloons were luft.
Linking 7th grade
to underpaid.

Chest hair peek
oh just a tuft...
Fonzie's T-shirt
it really fucking fits.

La la love
is really just for kids
The jukebox is on
with a slight little hit.
Meet me in my office
prepubescent tits...

Jump the shark
that's what Fonzie did
Birth and death of a hit
Who is this John Hein whiz kid?

Ron Howard has the power.
Henry Winkler shit the sinkler
Tuscadaro's never been pinker
Opie was so dopey
and Potzie was the trophy.

Chachi loves Joanie
it all seems so phony
Big Al fries bologna
sitting there sitcom at homie.

A perfect world to a wide eyed kid.
Before I smoked some pot.
Before I dosed the cid.
Before I peeked the lid.

Fuzzy glow of my youth
making room
Adult tooth...

And I have no proof
except that I'm aloof.
Did TV rot my brain?
The excuses were so lame...

I only sorta worship
FAME.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Turns

I lean into my turns
over the years I've learned 
the proper way to burn

I lean into my turns
I even scraped my knee
Motorcycle racing
Kathryn McPhee

Sodomy don't bother me
broken barn door
Molly's treat
Ecstasy

I lean into my turns
car or dirt bike
autobahn
or Peak of Pike

Not a 6th grade psych
check the box if you like

yes or no
hold the door
while I lean into my turns

I could teach you
if that beseech you

Lean in
I've got you.
7/14/11

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Your finger owns a trigger

Looking down the barrel of a gun
Your own finger
owns the trigger

No matter how you figure
your need only gets bigger
you knew it was coming
wrist slit on a daily basis
Rolled dollars with snot stained faces.

You started cause you're different
it will always end the same

The same thing repeated
expecting different results
is the definition of
INSANE...

Fuck you Paul Daly

Dot dot dot...
used to mean a lot...
you can have sex with what you got
pick boogers, wipe snot...

The lad fancies himself a poet
the scene from "The Wall"


Some super famous Davidson
lost the part
open call
killing Christians
just like Saul

Ask forgiveness
just like Paul...







Pride

Pride
I feel so selfish
everytime I feel it

Pride
what makes me so
goddamn important

Pride
yeah I'm special
just like everybody else

Might as well just feel it
Puff your cheast
sound a crow
bang-a-rang

You can choose to believe
Truth is it dont mean shit
9/1/09

Friday, July 8, 2011

Old cheese, Dried spit

I bought a pen,
                     a melon,
                               jammed to punk rock,
                                           made my ears bleed.
          I cried cause you missed me.
I shot myself,
                     took some pills,
                               puked words onto paper,
                                             passed out before I could fuck myself

          ...A wino taught proper...

I know the correct use for the long fork,
                     with napkin in lap I pinch the servers ass,

          ... A wink,
                          a smile,
                              A tall glass of wine,
                                   Old cheese, dried spit.


To tight to drink,
To soft to spread,
To old to mold,
...To high to feel...
Square meal
Incent scent
You must repent.
1995

Stereogram 1996

Received a Stereogram today
about how life has become unbearable
to college girls who came from
satellite suburb, high and holy high school

Where they watched some hippie hit a hacky sack
Where they watched their first episode of cops
on a faithless wide mooned October night.

Same night
the boogie man really got to some kid
via closet, via pathways
of undescerned origin.

Same night some kid
discovered masturbation
having a wank is lucky
to get luckier to forget
sexual frustration,
mass annihilation,
a troops infiltration,
a permanent vacation.

A little while until denial
set your soul to a match
for the seed to hatch
from corn to mash
old war wounds rehashed

I blasted life right outta its water
no time for a frown
only time to get down
to the next level
of pure conscience decision.
1996

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The big beautiful ugly

Monotony wipes the ass of diversity
Yin makes eggs for Yang
A bites O's burrito

Beauty sneers at ugly
wrist strapped
Beat It knife fight
locked in interstellar waltz

Skinny laughs at big
we learned it when we were kids

If I was husky as a youth
and slim, long in tooth

Can I know both sides
to wound a child's pride
and believe all the lies

I dished it out
after I was forced to take it
a weirdo takes their lumps
cause they've learned how to fake it

The Big Beautiful Ugly
sorted
labeled thusley

Monday, July 4, 2011

millions now living will never die

These words will live on forever
I can hardly see past my life

but time,
time knows better
Complex hectic
Simple strife

Long, and on
way past any single letter
not as noticed
but as long as any by
Eddie Vedder

These words have legs
just like the best
Kenyan runner

Intraweb living
winter death
and the life of summer

These words live on
whether I like it or not

I thought they would die with me
maybe I could only effect
my family

If I could only make
someone see
the person they wanted to be
than my words will live beyond me

Radiant Heart
Sonic Love Boom
Eternity...


Big Bone Lick

You can catch me on the ride of your life
I started there
and there is where
I'm not charming
but I want this
so let it rip slow slide
grooved territory
Big Bone Lick
state park
where I'm parked
12:23
looking for me
Levitate
Sedate those things that you Hate

Aug 1st 1998

The hips deliver
same pitch switch

You think the  city's so big
you have never seen the mountains

You've only once swam in
never drank from the fountain

Natures low laugh

First step of the way
seeping sun

Into ears
heard natures low laugh
or was it closer to a whimper

Like puppy dog eyes
called tails
not measured on scales
Scoville to metric
silent to hectic

American Flamingo March 18, 1996

It's like the American Flamingo
who has made it's home
on the front lawn of every other trailer
in every trailer park
from Atlantic to Pacific

It's like the still reddening nose
of Grandma or Grandpa
who resides inside

Or maybe these swollen hand and toed hero's
have no family to anote them
with a title so feverishly used among
white trash up the rungs
to aristocrats

Maybe these vessel less folks
are just a container
for alcohol induced urine flow

Maybe, baby
those velvet paintings
of the only true king they've ever known
bring them more joy than
the unfastening of any bottle
of Kentucky straight bourbon

Maybe there is a diamond in the ruff
in the tornado starting
sardine graveyard

These diamonds might come from
the bottom of the box of Cracker Jacks
pulled by a sticky faced kid
and discarded after
their novelty has faded

Maybe the sign next to the
neon Budweiser sign says
diamonds a dime a dozen

In all likely hood these diamonds
were set in the
engagement rings of prison
or the tennis bracelets of war
or in the most popular of all pieces
the diamond pennet of
blue collar chain gangs

These icy rocks were never scrutinized
by jeweler called teacher
or jeweler named Sargent, officer, or president

But swept under a ruff rug
and given a gun shop
a liquor store
a hustler
and a local pub
with local people, with local interest's
to locate one another.

But me the cat burglar
I am planning a caper
with no goat scaper
and no morning paper

A diamond heist to improve, to improve American life

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Wishes

My Dad had a saying
as most Dads do
I'm still writing mine
It's gonna be mine
to give brand new

As a child
I would visit him in various
halfway houses
seedy motels
I didn't know then
but drug houses

And "camp"
where all the "campers"
dressed alike in orange
so the hunters in the towers
wouldnt mistake them for deer

I had watched some deer hunting on T.V.
They always did wear orange out there

I was always telling him
I wish this
and I wish that

One day
he told me to hold out my hands
and close my eyes
I loved my father 
and trusted him over
all others
so I complied

With 8 year old hands outstretched
palms up
I feel my father grab my hand
and lean in close to my ear

"I want you to wish
the wish you want more than anything.
Better than a million Christmas's
and birthdays combined."
Wish it right here
in this open hand."

He squeezes my right hand

I wished the wish
that I dare not speak aloud
for it still might come true

This wish felt real
my fathers soothing voice
his hand on my shoulder

"You got it?"
"Yep"
"You sure?"
"Yep"

With that my father
pulled his other hand from
behind his back
and plopped a huge pile
of dog shit in my left hand

I just stood there
holding the worlds greatest wish 
and the worlds smelliest dog turd

I looked up at dear old dad
with tears in my eyes

"Wish in one hand
and shit in the other
and see which one gets full quicker."

After that day
I never wished 
for shit.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Hard Hat Tank

So I've burned
I'm out

My nirvana is reached
your draining me 
retaining to much

My mind a blank
hard hat tank

I will drink, 
Fight 
and fuck
my way to valhalla...

Undelivered Love Letter

The moon now ended
my scribbles done 
in the largest of enlarged pupil

Asleep for love
blindly ranting
my scratches in the fine wood
they may awaken you
but no shurley
not for nothing

Upon your conscience revival
I'd point my eyes at yours
and ask of your love

Then I drop
I fall
I fail
I mask
I clown
I shrink
I lose, but choose

I'll burn these pages before you wake
I'll choose my stages
and my mistakes

I pulled the long black hair of fate
as I parted her like the red sea.
95